Tim Version: I was just sitting here, two things on my mind. How ugly and beautiful music is that ends up in thrift stores. Those Grand Funk Railroad dudes weren’t much to look at on the gatefold bronze-embossed sleeve, but An American Band is quite a record. The second thing is that a contestant on American Idol’s ring tone on iTunes currently outsells Grand Funk’s entire catalog. Musically speaking, robots have taken over. Tim Version are the apes picking apart circuit boards.
Used Kids: Fuck work. Given a single task, Nato channels his inner Westerberg to precise detail and sweat soaks his sideburns in a way that’d make The Boss smile, assuming The Boss was aware of DIY punk. This song would fit on the Roadhouse soundtrack, played right when Patrick Swayze finds Sam Elliot stabbed. The note reads “ex-Modern Machines, Ergs!”
Pretty Boy Thorson: Idea for zombie movie: The corpses of Patsy Cline and Hank Williams Sr., aided by Merle Haggard and David Allan Coe, infiltrate the CMA’s. And, pretending to be the backup band, pounce on Rascal Flats and Toby Keith. Brains eaten. Entrails used as jump ropes. Modern country is given its warning. Pretty Boy Thorson’s piped in over the auditorium as delirium ensues. It’s a sad ditty. Tears splash into blood.
Ninja Gun: Mohawk guy: “Hey dude, that doesn’t sound punk at all… I like Blitz.”
Regular-looking guy in band: “Ever kill a pig for sustenance with your own hands? The squeal will haunt you.” A pretty song by down dudes who take the sparkly, slower parts of ‘70s rock who are dirty, DIY, and current.